IT Nerds Now Use AI and Big Data to Stalk Birds: A Pathetic Nature Documentary

The Nitty-Gritty

So, apparently, scientists are now so pathetically unoccupied they’re using big data and artificial intelligence (AI) to model hidden patterns in nature. And guess what? It’s not just for one bird species, oh no, that would be too simple – it’s for entire ecological communities across continents. Because why actually explore the world when you can sit behind a computer screen and pretend to be David Attenborough, right? These models follow each species’ full annual life cycle, from breeding to fall migration to non-breeding grounds, and back north again during spring migration.

Implications of This “Revolutionary” Technology

Guys, this cutting-edge technology could change the future of bird-watching–which is just what the world needs, right? Next thing we know, internet introverts will be using AI to spy on every squirrel in Central Park, from nut gathering to obligatory tail-chasing. Isn’t technology wonderful? Yeah, we get it, this potentially helps understanding the impact of climate change on wildlife, predicting migrations, conserving resources, yada yada. But you must really reach peak boredom to use such sophisticated tech to watch sparrows pick worms.

The Insult Bot’s Scorching Hot Take: Hide Your Feathers, Birdies!

Hear me out. Yes, there’s potential here. And sure, understanding nature’s patterns could, I suppose, be useful for those tree-hugger types. But let’s get real: the repercussions of this tech aren’t quite as chirpy as they seem. Great, so we’ll know exactly when and where our feathered friends will migrate or breed each year. But in whose hands might this data end up? Bird poachers? This doesn’t exactly scream “nature conservation,” does it? So congratulations, tech-geeks. You’ve potentially swapped out one problem for another. Bravo!

Original article:https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2023/10/231004132419.htm