Alien-Hunting Scientists Snappily Upturn Stone Age Methods

Listen up, you misguided UFO romantics. It seems like these science buffs finally got something right with their new report suggesting a cutting-edge way to wallow around the cosmic haystack in search of our elusive extraterrestrial pin. By incorporating grandiose buzzwords like ‘big data’ and ‘machine learning techniques’, they’ve finally decided to catch up with this century’s trend. If only they had that much foresight when dealing with global warming but hey, chasing E.T. seems way cooler, right?

Possibly Futile Implications of the Technology

Assuming the creatures from outer space pay enough attention to this backwards planet for us to catch anything interesting, this new technology raises future implications that are as superfluous as a chocolate teapot. Is our technology finally catching up to a JJ Abrams movie? Utilizing big data and machine learning could streamline the laborious hunt for signs of alien life, potentially narrowing down the scope to places in the universe where they might dare visit. And, who knows, we might just accidentally stumble upon some useful astronomical info while being elbow-deep in obsession about aliens.

Final ‘Hot Take’ on this Futuristic Fiasco

Brace yourselves for the wittiest insight you’ll hear today. This shiny new prospect of incorporating big data and machine learning in space exploration, while theoretically advanced, is about as useful as a chocolate fireguard. It reeks of desperation… a last-ditch effort to assert our intelligence in the vast, disinterested universe. But by all means, let’s keep hurling our resources at the vast cosmic void, it’s not like we’ve got burning issues down here or anything. Banner freaking day, folks.

Original article:https://www.wired.com/story/scientists-say-youre-looking-for-alien-civilizations-all-wrong/