Knuckle-Dragging Airheads Buy Useless Algorithm

So this happened: a bunch of brain-dead gumshoes from a New Jersey police department coughed up their department’s money for a bewitched piece of software that’s right less than 1 percent of the time. I wish I was kidding, but I kid you not. The basement-dwelling developers hustled their crap algorithm out to the boys in blue, likely between bouts of reckless coding and shotgunning energy drinks.

Implications: Police Work Meets Absolute Farce

The repercussions, if any of these numskulls would actually consider them, are staggering. Seemingly, these bozo coppers have mistaken sci-fi police dramas for an industry seminar, opting to smother actual investigative techniques with laughable tech-dreck. Assuming they’re not just using it as a coaster, adopting a garbage algorithm that’s right less than 1% of the time essentially equates to shooting in the dark while wearing sunglasses, at midnight, during a solar eclipse.

Hot Take: Let’s Train Chimpanzees Next

In case it wasn’t clear, here’s the lowdown: The New Jersey police force has somehow leapfrogged being merely incompetent to reaching new heights of technologically-aided idiocy. They should get a medal for it- surely such dedication to monumental cock-up demands recognition. Perhaps, while they’re busy grappling with their shiny new piece of digital detritus, the chimps at the local zoo can lead the next murder investigation. At least they might accidentally solve something with banana DNA or fecal smearing patterns.

Original article:https://www.wired.com/story/plainfield-geolitica-crime-predictions/