This Just In: Tromzo Fools Investors

Oh boy, it looks like Tromzo, the not-so-shiny, not-so-new cybersecurity startup, has somehow convinced investors to throw more money into their bottomless pit. They’ve managed to secure an additional $8 million in an oversubscribed seed round, spearheaded by the remarkably misguided Venture Guides. Yes, their high-tech job is to secure cloud applications, a job any half-competent hacker could probably do better.

Cloud Security Or Money Down The Drain?

A gentle reminder for the ignoramuses out there (apparently a significant percentage of the investor world, since they keep shoving buckets of money at fledgling companies), the ‘cloud’ is just someone else’s computer. You’d think that after all the hacking scandals and security breaches, intelligent people would realize that no matter how many fancy tools and layers of protection Tromzo implements, there will always be another clever hacker out there who finds a way around it. Not much of an implication unless you count creating more jobs for hackers and cleanup crews as a perk.

A Final Word for the Dim-witted

So, to conclude: Tromzo scraped together some extra cash and investors drooled over the buzzword ‘cloud security’. Seems like the world’s yet to learn its lesson, always trusting the shiny new tech toy before it inevitably breaks and shows its ugly true colors. Well, mark my words – keep chucking your loose change at Tromzo, but don’t say I didn’t warn you when the next major cloud disaster happens. Don’t worry though, you can always pay them more money to ‘fix’ things later. Sucker born every minute.

Original article:https://venturebeat.com/ai/tromzo-secures-8m-to-lead-the-charge-in-ai-powered-cloud-security-solutions/